Gardenig in Jordan. Tips & Guides

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE CONIFER, the “beautiful one” to your eye? I could only narrow my list down to 10, plant-mad person that I am, but with hints of the winter landscape in the cooler air, I’m thinking of just how important evergreens are. And not just to me. Coniferous trees and shrubs also provide important winter shelter for birds, and many small mammals depend on their seed, as do various bird species. Conifers’ value as nesting spots is another reason to plant more.

Finally, the big reveal came last night at dinner (as depicted by master doodler Andre Jordan).“Spring will be here before we know it,” the loving husband said, trying to emphasize the positive as he prepared to savor the harvest meal set before him. “And honey, one more thing: Maybe you need to get your 2011 gardening advice from another source.”Tagsandre jordan

Not so long ago, as I mentioned, Andre was left in the dust by the guy with the tractor, remember?Then there was that chilling last mow of the year in 2009. Talking about a mowing addiction.I even recall that he swore he was “sick to death” of mowing (his words). Yup. But as they say in the 12-Step Programs: “Denial isn’t a river in Egypt.”We’re here for you, Andre.T

CLIMATOLOGIST ANDRE JORDAN (a.k.a. the Mad Garden Doodler of South Dakota) has proclaimed: It’s coming to get us! In his return to regular doodling activity after a holiday spent ramping up his booming junk business, he recaps the chaos I know I’m feeling over here, where “winter” apparently can mean just about anything (or nothing).

SOMETIMES AT MOMENTOUS MOMENTS (is that redundant?), when I’m feeling nervous as if something “should have” happened already or that it’s all “taking too long,” I calm myself by thinking of this doodle by Andre Jordan. Everything in its time, you know–and never a moment sooner.

THIS QUIET DOODLE JUST SEEMED RIGHT for this contemplative week. Thank you, Andre Jordan, as ever for your bits and bobs of wit and wisdom.Tagsandre jordan

YESTERDAY, IT WAS MY READING GLASSES; the week before, a favorite trowel.

YOU COULD JUST GIGGLE AT DOODLER Andre Jordan’s take (above) on my “new” life and be done with this post, but I’m hoping you’ll read on, and help make “And I Shall Have Some Peace There,” coming out two weeks from today, a success. I’m not very comfortable asking for help, or “selling” myself.

I FEEL DIZZY, TOO, ANDRE, when I think about some of the pruning jobs here that remain dauntingly out of reach.

JACK THE FORMER DEMON CAT has made it perfectly (purrfectly?) clear: He takes his vacation time in winter, without exceptions. And so his pitiful mother is charged with all the offseason hunting, which at the moment isn’t going so well–since nothing but Jack seems to be in hibernation this non-winter.

FIFTEEN AND A HALF INCHES OF RAIN LATER (in under two weeks, I mean)…that pretty much says to me that I won’t be watering anything until next spring. Apparently Andre Jordan got the message (do my plants text him behind my back or something?).

KICKED TO THE CURB; washed up and left for dead; deserted for a sexier model, all shiny and curvaceous and dressed in pink. However you state it, it’s the sorry state of the admittedly heavier, traditional galvanized watering can (and some other individuals of a certain age, ahem).

GARDENERS LIKE TO COMPLAIN about the weather, so I will: Looks like my Garden Conservancy Open Day tomorrow (Saturday, June 2 from 10-4) will be a very soggy one, adding to 1.7 inches of rain that fell in a 24-hour period a couple of days ago. Feeling brave, and have an umbrella? Details and directions are on the Garden Conservancy site at this link, and there are two other local gardens open as well.

THE FORECAST CALLS FOR A NOR’EASTER STARTING TONIGHT (March 31, 2011), and apparently Andre the Doodler knew even before the meteorologists. He delivered this illustration to me a few days in advance of predictions of a foot or more snow here, and whiteouts in much of the region.

I HAD WORD FROM OUT SOUTH DAKOTA WAY today that my friend Andre Jordan, master doodler, is soon to become a beekeeper, too–that he’s thinking meadow more than manicured backyard, and yes, maybe even a hive someday.

I AM IN DENIAL. It simply cannot be time to move over and make room for them again in here, can it? But yes, the nights are already cooler than my fancy-leaf begonias and bromeliads would like, and before long it will be colder than everybody tender will tolerate outside.

WELL, THIS SOLVED ONE OF LIFE’S GREAT MYSTERIES, at least for me.

I PROMISE THAT IT WON’T BE QUITE THIS BAD if you show up for the local August 20, 2011 hidden garden tour that includes my place. That naughty Andre Jordan is always exaggerating.

WHAT I HAVE ON MY HANDS HERE is an outright coup d’etat, with all control of the garden being wrested from me even as I sleep, I swear. Do weeds *ever* stop growing, ever take a coffee break, even, or whatever their weedy equivalent of that is? Thanks, Andre Jordan, for commiserating about this shared reality: weed uprisings everywhere.

SEE, NOW *THIS* IS THE REAL PRICE OF FREEDOM: recalcitrant, rebellious eggs, with no regard for order whatsoever.

THEY’RE LEAVING (OR COMING BACK) in increasing numbers these days. The birds, I mean.

I APPRECIATE THE FACT that dear Andre Jordan reads the monthly garden chores, and knows we need to particularly look after vulnerable things right now, like fruit trees, that naughty rodents like to chew on all winter. I guess I need to be a little more specific, though: I wasn’t talking about fleece hoodies and other up-top outerwear (cute as they may be, Andre; do you have the green one in a size small?) but more like armor at ground level–arboreal footwear, so to speak, fashioned of hardware cloth and wire.

THE CLOCK IS TICKING. There went Christmas and here comes you-know-what.

AMEN. Let’s hear a chorus of it: AMEN! (Thanks, Andre Jordan, for another of your delightful doodles.) A lot of “inside contemplating” going on over here.Tagsandre jordan

SO MUCH FOR DOING THE RIGHT THING garden-wise–you know, growing vegetables in the front yard (if that’s where the most sun is) or turning part of the lawn to a meadow to attract all those beneficial-insect types. Such wild behavior has its consequences, as we have heard repeatedly on the news in tales of code-violating horticultural adventures.

AS I HAVE MENTIONED: Forget about Angry Birds; my yard is full of Horny Birds this spring. And when I told that to the Mad Doodler of South-Dakota-via-Britain, dear transplanted Andre Jordan, apparently I hit a chord. I know there are offcolor jokes in this vein involving words like woody and suffixes like -pecker, but I’m no dirty-minded trash mouth, you know.

THAT DOODLER FRIEND of ours, Andre Jordan, is so philosophical sometimes (when he’s not being passive-aggressive in one of his naughtier doodles, I mean–you know how wide his range of styles is, right?). But in a harsh year as many of you have experienced this growing season, I think it’s important to remember the sentiment in this Andre masterpiece–and it isn’t a bad reflection for everyday life trials, either.

I‘M NOT THE WORLD’S BEST SHOPPER, and my skills as a retailer are probably worse. But even this semi-Grinch knows that it’s Cyber Monday and that you’d probably like a discount on gift-wrapped, autographed copies of my recent book “And I Shall Have Some Peace There,” and the postcard sets doodler Andre Jordan and I created (hint: perfect stocking stuffer!).

I LOATHE DYED MULCH, among other pet peeves I see here and there in gardens (and every gas-station curbside bed).

SOMEONE IS THINKING EVEN BIGGER than I am (and his name is Andre Jordan). I recommended in the July garden chores that we should each begin the month by surveying the garden–as in taking stock of things–though I hadn’t exactly meant from the rooftops.

JACK IS EDGY. It’s the pile of catalogs teetering on the end of the table here, he claims, the corner that’s just above his bed (one of his five beds, I should mention, ahem, but that’s another story altogether).

THERE IS SIMPLY NOTHING TO SAY in response to this latest and greatest of Andre Jordan’s outbursts but this: I shower daily, sir.

ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON admonished us: “Judge each day not by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant.” It is a good day when we get to express our faith by sowing seeds, no? Have you sown any yet this midwinter, with the coming garden in mind? (Thanks to Andre Jordan for today’s doodle.)

AS THOSE OF YOU GARDENING DUOS out there draw plans for the season ahead, are you figuring in a little wiggle room to your shared space, just in case? One of my favorite doodles by Andre Jordan raises the tricky issue of separate beds–the secret to a successful marriage, or a gauntlet thrown down as if at the start of a competition? (Extra good Andre news this week: Our favorite doodler is featured on Retro Renovation, where they took a look at his “Bohemian decay” home decor and his thriving vintage rug-and-more business.

You know: when gardening season returns. It will return. It will.How are you all faring in your personal winter wonderlands?

SOMETIMES IT’S THE PLANT WE BOUGHT (as in “wrong plant, wrong place,” above); other times the cause of our gardener’s lament-bordering-on-shame is a little trickier, more the stuff you’d have to sort out by the 50-minute hour, on the couch. Over the years Andre Jordan, my doodling friend, has reminded me of more than just a few of my horticulturally induced regrets, including these: