from andre the doodler, a memoir!

APPARENTLY MRS. ANDRE’S TOMATOES succumbed to “tiny insect things that will not leave our garden alone,” we hear this week from Himself, who very sweetly shared the actual sympathy postcard he drew for Herself on the occasion of her lost tomatoes.

No, I have still not met Andre, though we’ve been in contact for more than a year. But we grow a little closer every week when the latest stash of doodles-in-progress arrives, and I get glimmers into the thought process that is behind them, just like I did when I read his memoir, “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now.” (There is no better book to give your shrink; it should be on the curriculum of psychoanalytic institutes and departments of psychiatry in teaching hospitals and schools of social work, I swear. Insurance companies should mail it out to all patients using mental-health coverage, so they know they are not alone.) Some week

“And so I said very little,” his email continued, “and hoped (as I tend to do with my more serious doodles about depression) that people such as yourself would understand the enormous thing I did not try to say. If that makes sense?“I shall get back to my slightly passive aggressive doodling now. Ha. I am currently drawing a ladies bottom. I am as yet unsure how this will eventually become a garden doodle.”Stay tuned, dear readers. Next week promises to be a doozy. (I love my Andre emails almost as much as my Andre doodles, frankly. Well, except ones like this Quantum Physics Diagram, which actually does relate to gardening…and about 500 others.)Thanks for being Andre, Andre. And yes, of course it mak

NO SMART-ASS COMMENTARY FROM ME TODAY, not on this one. As doodler Andre Jordan paints a very clear picture of, there is more to life than meets the eye. Shall we look a little deeper?

IT’S EITHER TIME TO HIT THE SLOPES, or hit the bar, Andre Jordan–or at least that’s how it looks from conditions as depicted in your latest doodle.

THE LATEST BOOK GIVEAWAY–which was a smashing success–ended at midnight Sunday, but there’s a “win” for everyone, it turns out. Collaborator and author Katrina Kenison and I asked commenters to tell us about books they’d relied on in times of transition…and wow, did they ever.

UNDERPLANTING: The antidote to boring masses of pachysandra or ivy: underplanting in complex mosaics. I showed my method, at the request of various commenters on a previous story. You asked for it, you got it.TO THE WOODS WITH ME: I published a favorite “doodle” by offbeat English illustrator Andre Jordan, which apparently you loved (and I got to “meet” this idol of mine as a result, thank you all very much).THE COMPLAINT DEPT: We opened the doors on Memorial Day weekend, and the gripes are still pouring in. Got a “garden no-no” you want to add to the list? (Does dyed mulch or bad staking, or maybe garden gnomes or white-gravel mulch get you all worked up?)NO DULL EDGES HERE: Who knew you were all OCD like I am about edging your garden beds? This how-to was another popular post.PESTO FEST: The kickoff event in our summer-long cross-blog food series with Dinner Tonight was a spicy favorite, featuring my recipe for Garlic

HOW MANY -PEDES DOES IT HAVE, I ASK? CENTI- OR MILLI- OR ??? All I know is that they creep me out, too, my dear friend Andre Jordan–or at least startle me when they come pedaling prehistorically in my direction out of nowhere.

THE TOPIC OF GNOMES is a popular one here at A Way to Garden (or should I say an unpopular one in that gnomes rate high on collective our Garden No-No’s list?). Whether he is trying to stir up trouble or simply get in the holiday spirit by conjuring images of Santa and his elves, daydreamer Andre Jordan offers this latest in our garden doodle series.

UM, I GUESS OUR FRIEND Andre Jordan got a peek at the way we really order seeds, huh? Trouble is: I’m still stuck on Step 1, that “Bloody Brilliant Big List” thing.

APPARENTLY MANDATORY DRUG-TESTING will now be required in the arenas of the county fair and harvest festival, where our able correspondent Andre Jordan reports that the use of performance-enhancing substances is growing as rampant as crabgrass. I wonder if the rotten carrot is being held in the crisper–or the clinker–awaiting trial? Doubtful that the drug-dependent root was a match for the world-record holder, at 19 feet 1.96 inches–I kid you not.

THIS LITTLE-KNOWN SPECIES (apparently first discovered and named by famed British plant explorer Andre Jordan) reminds me of all the plants I used to bid on at rare-plant auctions. The thinking always seemed to be that the harder it was to grow, the more valuable it was–and up went the bids, sky-high.